Giving Thanks...

I don't want this blog post to be another Thanksgiving cliche.

About being grateful. Cause this is about much more than that.

The truth is, I feel happier the last two days than I have the last three months. I kinda feel like a new person.

During the last nine weeks I have not been myself. At all. I have struggled with depression. I went 29 straight days without hearing my husbands voice. I worried, agonized and suffered extreme anxiety {almost on a daily basis} about his well being and safety. I doubted our decision. I felt lost, like a part of me was missing. It was very hard to get through some days. I felt that I was just EXISTING.

I was not the best mother, and for that, I feel incredibly bad.

All of this changed on Thanksgiving Day. I woke up to my husbands voice on the phone, and we were able to share our thoughts, feelings, stories and LOVE for almost six hours. There is nothing like being able to reconnect your heart after nine weeks. How someones voice alone can make you feel whole again.

I refuse to forget this feeling.

I am so thankful for everything in my life, I really am. I realize through this process how strong I am as a wife, mother and person. I may have not been at my best, but I know I am capable of managing things. I have a deeper appreciation of what the countless military families before me have been through. And I realize my situation was a far cry from what others have faced, but it was a triumph for me as a woman. On a personal level it showed me a bigger picture of my life. And for that I am so grateful.

I am looking forward to feeling love again. To being myself. To going back to my daily life that I loved so much. To thrifting, blogging, and being a mommy. To being a wife. To being a supporting daughter-in-law to the sweet mother-in-law that shouldered the majority of my troubles the last couple of months. I am so grateful to her. Really.

Mostly, I am grateful to be happy again. To have a bounce in my step and a smile on my face. A little LOVE can do that to ya! Thank you, Mr. V., for what you have helped me bring back the last couple of days. I am so grateful for you.